Za Thao Yang Family

During the wedding of Susan and her husband, the adults were giving all the kids, teenagers, and young adults some advice, or more like small lectures. One of the big topics that always came about was getting married, and to wait a long time before one of us got married again. We older girls promised her that we would wait at least six or more years to get married. Cause Auntie Xee was the one who made us promise her.

I have already decided to stay for a long while yet. Personally I am just not mentally ready for a boyfriend or a serious relationship. And I felt that it was unfair to my two younger sisters. I know how it feels to have all your older sisters run away (because of a man or disliking the way they were being treated at home or even both). Every one of your role models turning out to be somebody that they are not. I didn’t want that to happen to them. The way I saw it, my older sisters ran away, and never told me or the younger ones how to deal with anything. I don’t hate them for it, but I was and still am angry and jealous. It is a thing that sisters are supposed to do together, share their knowledge and pass on pointers of life. The one thing that I needed help on most was application for college. I actually never planned on going, but when I did decide to go, I was hoping for help from older siblings, but there was nobody right beside me guiding me along the way. I was alone and had to figure everything out for myself. I don’t want that for the younger ones.

I told myself a long time ago that even if I go crazy, I would stay. I would stay for my sisters, and not just for them, for my brothers too. There are points in my life where I just wanted to run away and go to the farthest corner away from home. I had plans too, all made up in my mind. But then I would go home, and things were just so nice, I was happy and everybody was smiling, and I didn’t want to leave. Or there were times where I didn’t want to leave because things at home were so bad that I just want to stay to protect my siblings from themselves and the outside world.

On the their last day in Wisconsin, Auntie Xee came up to me and said something that hit me right in the chest and made me almost break down in tears.

She said to me, “Lucy, I know all about you. You stay home and be good, okay.”

“I will, I am going to stay for my sisters,” I promised her.

“No,” she told me, “Don’t only stay for them. Stay for them!” She gestured to two people and I looked up at where she pointed. I saw the figures of my parents cleaning up the house, and I almost cried. Tears came to my eyes and my throat fogged up.

I nodded my head, “okay.”

Until that moment, I didn’t really think about it. But I do want to stay for my parents too. They never had a daughter who did everything for them. I was and am the only older daughter to not leave the house due to a boy or bad behavior. I plan and hope to keep that status for a long time.

I learnt a lot from those two and a half days. Plus I gained more wisdom then I hope I would ever gain in such a short time. I thought I knew a lot about becoming an adult, but then I found out that I only knew the beginning, there is so much more out there. I hope to be there to pass on the knowledge to my younger sisters and cousins.